It's the 1000th time and it's even bolder...

The title lyrics are from Teddy Picker by Arctic Monkeys - so catchy and classy. (I think I'm growing fond of Alex Turner...)

I can't believe it's already been two weeks since I've been in South Korea (and I haven't done much college appin' or standardized test studyin', I will be in a pickle when school starts). I haven't been blogging as much as I have been hoping. I've taken so many pictures that they're piling up in the editting list! I needa nice cam so I don't have to edit my pics so much! My cousin suggests and Olympus Pen (it's a hybrid camera so it's got all the fancy functions of a DSLR but it's small and compat like a digital cam, but it's still approx. $800...).

Anyway! I met up with my cousin and she and her hubby slept over for a night. The results: a lotta pics and a new outfit! It really is so beautiful to see family again. It's been about two years since I've last seen my relatives and there's nothing as refreshing as seeing family. :)

click images to view in original size

She's like a professional model, no? ;)

More fun stuff:

We played around with photos and one of these photos is of my cousin's husband sleeping and the other is of him pretending. Guess which is which? :D

:)

Orange juice, Arizona Ice Tea, and Ice Coffee


I think this is my fav pic of all us - and I'm wearing my new outfit they picked for me!: (I smell a future outfit post)

A few days ago it was my mom's birthday so we celebrated with some cake! More pics of the b-day celebration are coming!

Song of the moment -

Arctic Monkeys - From the Ritz to the Rubble

PS. Thanks for continuing to read my blog! It's always super exciting to read a new comment and to find a new follower! Let me know if there's something you enjoy in particular, dislike in particular, or if there's anything you'd like to see more of! G'bless! :)

*edit: I'm getting surgery today (Thurs. Aug 19th) and it'd mean so much to me if you could pray that the surgery went well. I'd rather not explain what the surgery is for because it's quite embarassing and you might laugh at me, but I'll just say it hurts a lot and I'm not allowed to walk for a few days. Wish me luck! And take care! :)

a vicious cycle

My mom's like a best friend that I've never had and never will have. I can be myself and I don't have to hide anything. We have such similar personalities that everything just clicks. But that's the problem. When a small misunderstanding sparks, then everything goes berserk.

So we'll have a our high times as we watch old, classy movies together and laugh our butts off watching America's Funniest Home Videos and critique ice skaters as we watch reruns of the Winter Olympics Figure Skating, but then I say something a little askew, and then my mom's like what? and I'm like what?!?!?! and then everything's like WHAT?!?!??!!?!!?!?!?!?$@%#%

You could say that our relationship is like American economy (at least US economy according to my AP US History teacher). Apparently, our economy has its amazing highs and then crashes tremendously like in the Depression of the 20s. Then things are amazing-er than before! And then, things are stinkier than before. The cycle goes on until the crash is too big to handle, and I feel like that's going to happen sometime soon between my mom and me... I don't know what to do.



I got frustrated, so I started journalling which then became poetry...


1.
I'm left here in a flourishing cage with my mom.
A blessing and a curse.
I can't tell if it's for better or for worse.

When life is good,
I feel like I'm free
only to find myself in disgusting symmetry.

I see my mom;
we laugh, we joke
and then we brawl and fight when we really shouldn't have.

I hate it.
I want it over.
but what can i do?
I'm so human,
I'm so distraught.
I'm tied to this cycle like glue.

I know it's gonna happen again,
it's just the way we are...
but I don't want to lose my mom.
my friend, that twinkling star.

I sit, in lonely disarray,
anger getting the best of me.
she sits in the next room,
heated tension burning our symmetry.

now there's no more laughs.
goodbye friend. goodbye love.
I wish someone would stop me from anger,
I just have to wait and wait and wait
and pray to the one above.


2.
I want to break through this mess
and find that waiting fullness.
but I don't know where you are.
I
keep falling
making
crumbling under those same mistakes.


3.
I want to make things right,
but I don't want to be wrong.

I want this friendship to last forever,
but both of us aren't that strong.

I want Jesus to come
and say "It is finished"
but until then
we are gone, baby, gone.