between the lines

although i just tried to pick a witty title for this post, i realized that it's actually quite relevant to my current situation. feeding off from what happened in my last post, things have been a bit rickety. the future seems simply hazy and i wish i could guide my life in the right way, the way that'll not only continue my personal happiness but inspire others, the way that'll not only fulfill my life but achieve god's will--most of all. 

there are so many careers defined by a few letters: doctor, journalist, photographer, artist, this, that, what. i love so many things that i'm confused about having to pick one. i dont want to pick one. and i know that the real world wants me to specialize, but, can't i specialize in.. not picking one career pathway? 

anywho, i'm not so worried anymore because i know there's an awesome future lying ahead of me, there has always been, and that's why i'm loving where i am now. i know the best is yet to come and i know and yet i don't. eee the 1AM gibberish is getting to me so i'm going to stop myself. one thing i know for sure, i like clothes! here's a recent outfit that i enjoyed putting together :) 

(this was when someone caught me self timing myself and said "HA! I got to see it all happen!" or something like that and i was embarassed and yeah)

shirt - anthropologie,  necklace - brooklyn flea market, skirt - south korea street store, tights - anthropologie, shoes - aldo

song of the moment

a living paradox

sometimes i wish i could just know. god works in the most mysterious of ways and i know all his plans are for the better, but today, there was a moment where everything was the worst. because all that i knew was simply whisked away from me, all my plans and excitement and tantalizing concerns lost their magic because one big plan was taken out of my hands. i wish i could just know what's to come. i wish i could just feel. just be confident. just live without worry. i wish i could just know. 

it's funny how when something you had been banking just goes awry and the whole day looks dark to you. i had a weird perspective change today. for me, everyday is amazing, but because everyday is amazing, there's a thin film of monotony that blankets each day. when i see someone i know, even if they pass me by, i smile to myself and i'll hope they have a fab day. i'll sing songs to myself quietly as i walk down the maxed out, taxi filled streets to class. and today, once i got some bad news, even the sun didn't make things any brighter. every little wrong thing that i'd normally shrug off was suddenly something to make me cuss. 

but the weird thing is, this little dark revelation peeled off the film of monotony and amplified the awesomeness that really lies in everyday. i was having the worst of days. truth. but i wished everyone else had an off-the-wall amazing day. i don't quite understand myself, but after i got off the phone with news that demanded some annoying tears to tickle my face, i walked out of that place and had a bigger smile whenever i saw someone i knew. this dark magic put that positive fairy dust and oomph into everything. it was a punch in the face conducted by some tinkerbell. when people asked me 'hey! how are you girl?' yes. it was literally the most heart wrenching second of my life to say 'i'm good!' and now i really understand the value of asking someone 'how they are' but that magical smack in my face and thrust in my life made me forget my fears and remember my love. maybe it was the hurt that made me want to love even more. but in the end, i was less afraid to say hi, to reach out, i wanted to kiss everyone i knew--not like seductively. i wanted to make sure that everyone loved their life as much as i did and didn't in that moment. something moved me to move others. 

later in the day i was assigned to give a campus tour (relevantly, the new tour guides had our "track jacket ceremony" today which was our official "induction" to let us give tours! whuddup! so if you come here, maybe i'll show you aroundz!). besides being late to my exam, and other silly stupid things, i had to do a tour on top of it and i was like 'oh dreaded life, why must i show others around school today. i am miserableness and hatred of life. woe is me.' but no. i loved it. i was still having the worst of days. truth. but as i shared my story, i hoped everyone on that tour would love my school, would love learning. would love life. 

so today was the worst of days. truth. and sometimes i still wish i could just know what is to come, what is my life, what is. but when the cookie crumbles, you have crumbs, that still taste good. and when my life seems to fall apart, i realize i still have people, that still taste good. i still have these amazing (no more film of monotony applied) acquaintances--friends i see daily or faces that i wish were more embedded in my life or faces that i no longer even see. and no matter where my career, life, or i end up, i know i'll have people with whom i can share smiles with and people with whom i already shared smiles. as a matter of fact, i close this post to have some hot chocolate with a friend. and with that, i can only hope that anyone who reads this--maybe it's your worst of days, maybe you also wish you could just know--but i hope you know that there is still people, there is still love, and there is still life. 

"“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn

jacket - urban outfitters, tee - best coast band tee, shirt - nordstrom rack, skirt - urban outfitters, tights - gift, shoes - american apparel

song of the moment
"pack up your troubles, get your old kit bag, don't worry about the cavalries. i don't care what the whisperers say cuz they whisper too loud for me."

wind's kiss

as the sun descends to return to its bed and blanket of the earth, 

you whisper to me.

your lips of cool sensitivity trace my neck, 

the chill dancing with the sun's burnt orange hush.

people banter and walk on.

but i stick with you

privately, at the cement street intersection.

your caring wishes tickling me with glowing rays 

trickling between the town's

wires, rooftops, flickering branches.

a fresh fragrance of wood complements your natural touch. 

just as the sun goes to sleep, your flirtation must end, too.

just as the sun wakes, will you be back as well? 

will your distant gazes evolve to something more?

stroke my hand.

caress just below the flowy hem of my skirt.

tell me about your dreams. 

maybe the sun will have slept by then 

and only the smiling stars will be left to silently serenade us.

or maybe you'll leave.

maybe i'll get away to the big city where you roam only fiercefully like you're mad.

but maybe i'll find you at ease, muscles relaxes like we are here now.

your finger tips mildly rustle the loose waves of my hair.

i wrinkle my nose.

you brush my ear.

the ever perfect lover.

wind

you move me to a world where i don't have to move.

you welcome. you take me in.

you make the move to introduce yourself to me.

you don't know me 

yet you know all there is; 

we are of the same god, the same nature.

you love. you are. we are. 

wind. 

kiss my silhouette.

take me home where the starlight can paint 

our effervescent love with a sweet serenade.

 

photos by Bailey Theado

shirt - nordstrom rack, tee - best coast merch, shorts - urban outfiters, tights - american eagle, shoes - uncle in south korea, cardigan - urban outfitters, coat - zara

song of the moment 

in a few nutshells

Miscellaneous: 

That's right, who knew I could paint Kanye in black and white and watercolor.  

Burthday festivutees: 

Brunch at Norma's (the most money I took out of my wallet for brunch)

MOMA

Birthday splurge (skirt from Anthropologie)

eyy what's new

blazer - urban outfitters
dress - urban outfitters
coat - banana republic
clutch - guess
shoes - hm.. from prom...

9am

unfortunately for my blog i have immersed myself in the catacombs of college life (which still largely and ironically consists of procrastinating on tumblr). i'm always left dreaming to get back to blogger blogging, but in reality, i'm only able to do so sporadically like now (which really doesn't count as "blogging"). but what the hey. there's no law against blogging when time only allows me to do so, and i guess that's unconsciously why i named my blog "unscripted"--there really is no script and schedule as to what and when this kid is going click "publish post." 

so here i am, on a fine sunday evening in south korea with apple slices cut by my mum and an asian yoghurt drink beside me (oh home, how sweet you are), blogging to my hearts desire (and as always, i should still be doing some kind of reading/studying/resume/cover letter writing. multi-taskingandprocrastination should really be my middle name). and thus the blog post begins. (i realize i have prologues in most of my blog posts...weird)

---

a pre-winter weekend. after about 18 hours of waiting for standby Saturday Night Live tickets (in the end, i didn't get to see the show, they only took seven people--boo--but it's ok. i've still been lucky enough to see SNL front row center the first time i tried) it was finally time to pack up my sleeping bag and depart rockefeller center in my--literally--7 layers of clothing. walking back from the subway station at 7:30am in the morning, still in my not so fresh bundle of apparel, i witnessed the sky grace the city streets with the most glorious lighting ever. and even if i didn't look so classy, having been on a blogging binge (in the midst of this blogging silence, it has been quite painful i assure you), i would've loved a photoshoot right there in that moment. the second i saw the sun flash its pearls of shine between the vintage buildings (showcased in the photos below, only difference, i'm not in my snl POW apparel), i knew i wanted to do a photoshoot early in the morning with this precious luminescence--the only reason i'd probably ever want to wake up early during my college career. 

one weekend, at 9am (inititally the plan was 7:30am but we both agreed we were too tired), my photographer friend chuck and i ended up gallavanting the same place in greenich village where i was graced by the divine light. to my disappointment, the same pearly yellows decided not to perform in the same way, but i think the shoot was still quite successful. it was a day of firsts. my first nyc photoshoot that did not involve self timing myself in my dorm stairwell and bumping into dorm acquaintances randomly as i look awkward and vain and desperate. really truly, it was my first photoshoot in nyc.

 after some west village roaming, we planned to eat breakfast at Buvette, but ended up having Saturday brunch at a very classy eatery, AOC. i had a plate of exquisite french toast. it was divine. the rest is history.

until next time (which is when i spontaneously am able to blog again), ciao bella! and a belated merry christmas and happy 2012! :)

p.s. if you're ever wondering what i am being inspired by--although 80% of that is just living life in the city--check out my tumblr.

dress - silence + noise (UO)

shirt - banana republic

necklace - Brooklyn Flea Market

tights - banana republic

shoes - aldo

coat - zara

song of the moment - 

P.Y.T. - Michael Jackson